Thursday, January 24, 2013

How to destroy the Realms...

FADE IN: Dozens of gigantic black starships appoach an Earth-like world in the darkness of space. They look like floating monoliths, gothic cathedrals of metal and stone. As we watch, smaller ships detach and decend to the surface.

Narrator: "We never though we'd be hunting Elminster. Yet he is the cause of all of Toril's problems. His might and magic was like a beacon, lighting the darkness between the stars. Too bright. Too prideful. They said if we found and killed him, we would be free..."

Cue Music:

Fade To: Scenes of spaceships landing in various parts of the world-- in a market square in a gigantic city, in a small idyllic dale with a twisted tower, atop a hill surrounded by wizards in red.

Narrator: "They didn't come in peace. That was never their intent. Their fires shall cleanse this world of evil. I know that now. That is why we fight for them."

Cut To: Squads of soldiers dressed in gothic-looking battle armor emerge from the ships and start blasting anybody who doesn't look human, and anybody who resists. 

Cut To: Scenes of the massive city burning, people running about; the idyllic dale a flame, the twisted tower broken; the soldiers blasting away the red wizards with bolt guns and flamers. Groups of giants being slaughtered by a mechanized Titan/Battlemech.

Fade To: The narrator himself. He stands before a large unit of fellow soldiers in a blasted forest. They wear medieval-style armor and clothing, but carry las-rifles. We even see somebody wearing a futuristic-looking army helmet with a built in radio. Nearby, a sweaty commissar looks on, approving.

Narrator (to his men): "Until all the xenos are purged from this world, and until Elminster is killed, there can be only darkness, there CAN BE ONLY WAR! But we shall prevail for WE ARE THE HAMMER OF THE EMPEROR!"

They raise their weapons and cheer, before the narrator leads his men into combat against a band of elves defending their treetop village. Suddenly, a dark elf wielding two scimitars jumps into the midst of them and starts slashing.

Fade To: Further scenes of death and destruction, ending with a bearded old man stripped naked and bound in chains inside a gulag of spikes and metal. We pull back, passing through bulkheads until we're outside the black ship, looking on as it enters the orbit of... planet Earth. 

Voice-Over: "Coming soon, in a Forgotten world, magic once brought great weal. Now it brings only woe. Brought to you by Wizards of the Coast and Games Workshop, leaders in the fantasy role-playing and wargaming industries, the TWILIGHT OF THE REALMS is a seven book, seven movie series meant to merge two of the greatest settings fans have ever known.

"Part One--Elminster: the Unmaking of a Mage
Part Two--Battle: Waterdeep
Part Three--The Burning of Shadowdale
Part Four--Red Treachery
Part Five--Angels of Blood, Angels of Mercy
Part Six--Remember the Forgotten Realms
Part Seven--The Absolute Final Death of Elminster

In the Grim Darkness of the Forgotten Realms there can be only War!"

Fade Out.

4 comments:

  1. A reason for me to begin my new DIY 40K army:
    THE GREYHAWKS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds ridiculously fun.

    Course knowing my groups they would want to play the rag tag group of non-human rebels that ban together despite centuries of hatred to fight of these invaders. They be doomed to fail, but hey if it were an 80s movie they would kick ass! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the first scene: Elminister himself is teaching a history class to these characters, when suddenly the Imperial Guard drops in and starts shooting up the place.

      Delete

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