Sunday, April 20, 2014

Q is for "Q"--Star Trek

Since I couldn't find a decent monster from classic video games I played back in the day, here's "Q" from the Star Trek franchise to annoy your players. 


From Wikipedia
Climate/Terrain: The Final Frontier 
Frequency: Unique
Organization: Solitary
Activity Cycle: When you least expect him
Diet: Jerking PCs around
Intelligence: Godlike (21+)
Treasure: Yes and No
Alignment: Beyond Good and Evil
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: It doesn’t matter
Movement: Infinite
Hit Dice: Whatever Q wants
Thac0 [Bonus to hit): If you understand Thac0, then you’ve evolved
No. of Attacks: The number of angels dancing on the head of a pin
Damage/Attack: Absolute Frustration
Special Attacks: All
Special Defenses: All
Magic Resistance: It isn’t magic you neanderthal.
Size: E = mc2
Morale: Shakespeare Quotes
XP Value: Learning about your own humanity is experience enough.

If Q shows up in a D&D campaign, not only is it indicative that the DM has gone crazy, but the players must have done something to piss the DM off.

Roll 1d10 to determine Q’s (secret) motive:
1. Putting all of humanity on trial as brutal savages. A single human character must represent all             of humanity and pass a certain test by figuring out how two strange lifeforms mate.
2. Vest one of the characters with near-omnipotence for a day, just to see what happens.
3. Test a character’s pride by teleporting him, along with the rest of the group, to encounter the             Borg. The character must ask for help once half the group is dead.
4. Help the PCs better understand the balance of order and chaos within themselves through a
            series of flashbacks that take place after they’ve somehow died. Q is imitating God. But             whole sequence ends up being just a dream.
5. Help a life form trapped inside a gem one of the PCs is carrying enter a wormhole, then chide             the PCs for not understanding what was going on in the first place.
6. Q has fallen in love with one of the female characters, asking her to have his child, thus giving             the DM an excuse to make advances toward one of his players.
7. The PCs must figure out some strange anti-time paradox that prevents evolution on their world             from happening.
8. Get a character to chide an intelligent Black Pudding for devouring another character.
9. Teach the players themselves proper hygiene and social etiquette.
10. Convert the PCs to 4e (or another system of the DM’s choice).




7 comments:

  1. That list of possible objectives literally reads like my daily to-do list. I like quoting Shakespeare, too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How about preventing one of the characters from garnishing their afternoon salad with hemlock?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gotta love Q. He is the reason my kids started watching TNG with me again. They wanted to know more about him!

    --
    Timothy S. Brannan
    The Other Side, April Blog Challenge: The A to Z of Witches

    ReplyDelete
  4. He was the perfect Star Trek character. After all what do you do after Spock?
    Hope you are enjoying the A to Z challenge
    Rondeau

    ReplyDelete
  5. Q is one of my favorite characters, though I'm glad I don't have to worry about running into him in real life!

    -L.G. Keltner, minion in Captain Alex's Ninja Army
    http://lgkeltner.blogspot.com/'
    http://warpednerdiversity.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. Blog hopping on the 23rd day of the #Challenge. Congratulations on all your hard work to give your readers something worthwhile.

    ReplyDelete

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