Climate/Terrain: The Final Frontier
Activity Cycle: When you least expect him
Diet: Jerking PCs around
Intelligence: Godlike (21+)
Treasure: Yes and No
Alignment: Beyond Good and Evil
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: It doesn’t matter
Hit Dice: Whatever Q wants
Thac0 [Bonus to hit): If you understand Thac0, then you’ve evolved
No. of Attacks: The number of angels dancing on the head of a pin
Damage/Attack: Absolute Frustration
Special Attacks: All
Special Defenses: All
Magic Resistance: It isn’t magic you neanderthal.
Size: E = mc2
Morale: Shakespeare Quotes
XP Value: Learning about your own humanity is experience enough.
If Q shows up in a D&D campaign, not only is it indicative that the DM has gone crazy, but the players must have done something to piss the DM off.
Roll 1d10 to determine Q’s (secret) motive:
1. Putting all of humanity on trial as brutal savages. A single human character must represent all of humanity and pass a certain test by figuring out how two strange lifeforms mate.
2. Vest one of the characters with near-omnipotence for a day, just to see what happens.
3. Test a character’s pride by teleporting him, along with the rest of the group, to encounter the Borg. The character must ask for help once half the group is dead.
4. Help the PCs better understand the balance of order and chaos within themselves through a
series of flashbacks that take place after they’ve somehow died. Q is imitating God. But whole sequence ends up being just a dream.
5. Help a life form trapped inside a gem one of the PCs is carrying enter a wormhole, then chide the PCs for not understanding what was going on in the first place.
6. Q has fallen in love with one of the female characters, asking her to have his child, thus giving the DM an excuse to make advances toward one of his players.
7. The PCs must figure out some strange anti-time paradox that prevents evolution on their world from happening.
8. Get a character to chide an intelligent Black Pudding for devouring another character.
9. Teach the players themselves proper hygiene and social etiquette.10. Convert the PCs to 4e (or another system of the DM’s choice).